Farewell Christopher

I’m rather fond of a cephalopod who unaccountably has learned to write. I shamelessly stole this from him, she, or it. Oh, right now I’m wrapped in squeezing tentacles! Someone save me!

If you don’t like what I have to say: take a number, get in line and kiss my ass.–Christopher Hitchens

He was cynical and venomous, and famously uncouth;
He refused the path to heaven—ah, but now he knows the truth!
I can only hope he saw the light, before he had to pass
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.

So beloved an opponent, when we met in fierce debate;
He was far, far, too intelligent to meet a heathen’s fate!
Now he’s hectoring Saint Peter, cos Hitch had balls of brass
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.

He was secretly a Christian, in his hidden heart of hearts
You could see it in his essence, which was greater than its parts
Like the picture that emerges from the fragments of stained glass
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.

In his essays and his arguments, he always held out hope
Which confirms his similarity to Christians like the pope
If he weren’t so gosh-darned stubborn, we’d have seen him there at Mass
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.

Is it really so impossible to think, perhaps, he died
Without ever seeking Jesus—no, not even “deep inside”?
He expressed it for himself, you know—like this, succinct and crass:
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.

Larry

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2 Comments

Filed under Essays and Articles

2 responses to “Farewell Christopher

  1. Actually, you only stole *most* of it–you forgot most of the first stanza when you cut and paste!

    :-p

  2. I think I have it fixed — just please release me! I’m flattered by your visit.

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