You should read this first:
I could hear the two deities squabbling in the other room, trying to decide the fates of the recently deceased. It was becoming a bit annoying. I am accustomed to living in a quiet environment.
Then a fight broke out, and I had to go see what I could do. God and Lucifer were wrestling down on the floor.
God was shouting, “No, Sam needs to go to hell!”
Lucifer was saying “But I don’t want him! I despise the guy!”
I pulled the two apart, not an easy task with such powerful deities.
I said, “Hey, you two, am I going to have to make both of you stand in a corner? Enough of this crap! Perhaps you could take the dispute somewhere else?”
The two stood up, both looking ruffled. Lucifer said:
“I’m sorry, Larry, but we aren’t welcomed just anywhere these days. As the Beatles once sang, we will work it out.”
“Okay, just try to keep it down.”
I wished that they would just leave!
“Hey, guys, come see this video. Maybe the Beatles can give you some advice!”
God sneered, but he and Lucifer walked over to my computer monitor. I showed them this classic song, good advice to all of us, both gods and humans:
They watched it. Lucifer said, “I’ll remember this clip to show to some of my unhappy guests!”
Lucifer then remarked, “Those guys look so happy! How nice that they didn’t know the eventual fate of John Lennon.”
I said, “What! There is Youtube in hell?”
Lucifer said, “Well, we have to have something down there to keep them occupied! We don’t need riots, and we can’t afford cable!”
God smiled and said, “I’ve been trying to tell humans this for eons! You atheists are so resistant! I know it isn’t a rational message…”
Then Eos showed up. She said, “Come on guys, come with me, okay? I have a pretty cool sunrise brewing down in Malaysia that you would enjoy!”
I said, “Thanks, Eos!”
She smiled and all three of them took off, ascending into the stratosphere.